I’m Lauren, a queer wedding day content creator in Colorado, but as a queer person in this industry, I’ve had to fight to prove that my love, and my clients’ love, belongs here too. Weddings are supposed to be about love, yet for many LGBTQ+ wedding couples, they begin with navigating everything but love. I’m lucky to witness some of the most joy-filled, deeply personal, and meaningful moments in people’s lives. But alongside the beauty I capture as a Colorado LGBTQ+ wedding industry professional, I also see the cracks, especially as a queer person navigating the wedding industry myself.
Recently, I got engaged to my incredible partner, Cassandra. We were ecstatic to start planning our wedding, but within days of reaching out to vendors, that joy was clouded by rejection. Photographers declined us with alarming speed, and while I can’t say with certainty that it was because we’re a queer couple, one response still rings in my ears: “I suggest you find someone who better aligns with your morals and values.”
I’ve always known discrimination exists, but somehow it still shocks me when it shows up so blatantly in 2025. Queer couples planning weddings are still not universally welcome in the wedding industry, and that truth hit harder when it was directed at me.
From the first point of contact, it’s clear that most of the wedding world is still built for straight couples. Vendor inquiry forms often only give “Bride” and “Groom” options. Websites talk about “the bride’s dress” or “the groom’s reaction.” Marketing materials assume a binary and heteronormative structure, as if there’s only one type of love story worth telling. Even the language, bridal suite, bridal party, his and hers, makes it feel like if you don’t fit that mold, you’re not welcome. As someone who works behind the scenes as a wedding professional in Colorado, and as a queer person planning my own wedding, I’ve seen just how much of the industry hasn’t evolved to meet the reality of who’s getting married in 2025.
I’ve noticed that when vendors say they’re “inclusive” what they often mean is we won’t turn you away. But passive acceptance isn’t enough. Inclusive wedding vendors must go beyond tolerance. True inclusivity takes work. It’s active, ongoing, and intentional. It’s more than throwing up a rainbow flag in June. It’s understanding that LGBTQ+ couples getting married may have different needs, boundaries, and family dynamics. It’s asking for pronouns the same way you’d ask someone’s name. It’s removing gendered language from your forms, your packages, and your emails. It’s featuring real LGBTQ+ couples in your portfolio year-round, not just as a token shoot during Pride Month. It’s about making people feel seen before they have to ask for it. Because here’s the thing, queer couples notice. We notice who puts in the effort and who just wants to look like they do. We notice when we’re welcome and when we’re merely tolerated.
As a gay wedding day content creator working in the space, I also know the personal toll it can take. Every new client inquiry can bring a small wave of anxiety. Will they be cool with me? Will I have to come out again? Will I lose this job because of who I am? It’s emotionally exhausting to keep deciding how “out” to be in professional settings. There’s a vulnerability that comes with being visible. There’s also strength in it, but that doesn’t make it easy. This isn’t just about who we marry. It’s about whether or not we feel safe being ourselves while we celebrate the biggest moments of our lives.
Unfortunately, even today, discrimination is still part of the equation. Sometimes it’s overt, like being turned away outright. Other times it’s quieter, being ignored, talked down to, or treated like a novelty. It’s the microaggressions, the invasive questions, the assumption that a queer wedding is somehow “alternative.”
If you’re a vendor reading this, know that allyship isn’t about checking a box. It’s about showing up. It’s about asking hard questions of yourself, your business, your policies, and making real changes. It’s about amplifying queer voices in the wedding industry, being intentional with your language, and investing in education year-round.
For those of us in the queer community, we’ve always found ways to celebrate our love boldly and beautifully. We rewrite traditions, we make space for chosen families, we wear what we want, and we build weddings that reflect who we actually are, not what society expects of us. And for those of us who work in this industry, who create content, photograph love, and plan events, we know firsthand how powerful it is to feel seen. We know how important it is to hold space for couples who haven’t always felt safe doing something as simple as saying “I do.”
There’s an incredible amount of love in our community, and there’s no denying there’s still a lot of work to be done in this industry. But I believe change is possible. I believe in the power of honest storytelling. And I believe that celebrating queer love, openly and unapologetically, is a vital part of moving this industry forward.
If you’re planning your wedding and you’re queer, non-binary, trans, or simply don’t see yourself reflected in the mainstream wedding narrative, know this: your love is worthy, your story matters, and you deserve a wedding team that celebrates you.
Photos: Polj Photography
